Best advice I can give you
Have you ever come across contradicting advice? You might have read a book by someone you admire and they say that if you want similar results, you should do X. At first it makes a ton of sense and it feels like a whole new world has opened in front of you. However sometime later, you come across another piece of advice by someone else in a similar position. But the advice is completely opposite to the previous advice you received. They say that you should avoid X and do Y instead. So now you have two different people, both at a level you want to achieve, telling you different things. And it might confuse you, as to why that is. For example let’s take a look at this contradicting advice: “If you want to succeed, you have to work more and outwork everyone.” but then you also have advice that goes something like this: “Work less, but work smart.” What do you do? Do you work over 60 hours per week to beat your competition? Or do you work less and only focus on the most important part of your work? Both pieces of information can be useful.
However it depends on what path you’re taking and what stage of life you’re at. If I tell someone: “Oh don’t work so hard, take a break”, but that person is homeless, then it’s bad advice. Instead, he would benefit from trying to find more work. However telling someone who’s working himself to the ground, to rest a little, that’s good advice. He shouldn’t take on additional work and would benefit from taking a break. Even in my videos where I share different ideas, some of them won’t apply to you. For example let’s say there are two different people watching one of my videos. One of them is Mike, the other is Jane. Mike is an introverted guy. He likes to spend his time alone, so he rarely goes out. Whenever he gets an invite to a social event, he declines it because of his social anxiety. Because of that, Mike often feels lonely, since he barely has any friends. However, Jane is an extroverted girl. She loves being around people and is often the life of the party. Whenever she gets invited somewhere, she always accepts the invite. This results into Jane not prioritizing her time and being dragged around by other people. Now in the video both of them are watching, I give this advice: You should learn to say “No” to unimportant requests more often. Is the advice I gave good? Yes and no. For Jane, this is good advice.
She already has a lot of friends, but she doesn’t have enough time to spend on other things, which are important to her. However for Mike, this is bad advice. He needs to learn to say “Yes” to more social opportunities, instead of “No”. He wants to have friends and not feel lonely after all. If I did a 180degree turn, and in the blog talked about how “you should say “Yes” more often”, the results would be similar. Just in this case, Mike would benefit from the advice, Jane would not. Two people can hear the same idea, but it would resonate with one person, while it might not make sense to the other. That’s why advice and ideas tend to contradict. We’re all unique and we’re in different stages of life. And different people, require different solutions. So we need to acknowledge that there isn’t” one size fits all” advice out there. Most advice is highly generalized and is not individualistic after all. That is why it’s up to you to identify what you can use and what you cannot. Then apply whatever advice you find useful to your current situation.
If it doesn’t relate to you, you don’t have to use it and feel free to dismiss it. But you might find that later in life, that same advice that you used to find useless, is now useful to you. If we look back at Mike, he found the advice to say “No”, pointless. So he dismissed it and instead he started saying “Yes” to opportunities where he could be social and meet new people. However, over the years, Mike built his social circle and made more than enough friends. Soon he found himself stretched too thin. Saying “Yes” to most social opportunities, started to take away his time and energy from his business, which was now his top priority. Suddenly he found the advice to say “No” to requests, very useful. It’s good to hear different advice as it can offer a different perspective. One that you didn’t consider at first. Not every idea will apply to you in the moment, but it could in the future.
That’s why you shouldn’t dismiss it completely. But once a certain idea or advice has served its purpose, let it go. If it doesn’t work for you anymore, don’t use it. Ideas are like tools. You use them when they’re useful to you. Do you use a hammer when your situation calls for a screwdriver? No, of course not. You use a screwdriver. But just because using a screwdriver has worked for you at one point, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be the only tool you ever use. There might come a point in your life where using it won’t get you the results you want. And it might be better to use a hammer. Once a tool has served its purpose, you put it away and reach for a different one. Same goes for advice and ideas. Remember: what got you here, won’t necessarily get you there. You need to let go of the advice when it stops applying to you, or you might stagnate.
On your journey through life, you’ll definitely come across contradicting advice on how to approach things. But you must understand that there isn’t a straightforward answer to dealing with challenges. There is more than one way to do things after all. Even if two ideas contradict each other, both can be useful, just to different people in different situations. So look at your own set of circumstances and see where you can apply the advice. It doesn’t fit in your current situation, you don’t have to use it. But stay open to new information and different perspectives. You never know when an idea could come in handy. Thanks for reading.